Wednesday, November 30, 2005
many things happen these few days, very sad to say that my family is under going depression state.
Last tue, went to jolyn's wedding, then work for another two days, was on leave from Friday....just came back yday. When I was on leave, i went to the temple to pray for my family and bless them with good health and wealth.......its seems that my prayer was not heard....... After that during the evening, i dropped at Chill bar to sing sing drink drink....who knows, there was a fight after that....... spoilt my mood....never seen vincent so angry before....he was dragging the fat man from the bar counter out to the pool table and suddenly you heard all ping ping piang piang, the glasses were all on the floor and there he was kicking and cursing vulgar language @ the fat man.....that man really disgusting.....
On saturday, don know what happened to my mum......i went for breakfast with ney then suddenly she called me and scolded me..... don know whats wrong with her......then i was thinking the other night, my brother wanted so much for the nokia 6030 and keep asking my dad to get a new line....in order to save my dad...i decide to buy a brand new hp for him, so i called him and said i will pay half and he paid half, he agreed. i bought the phone back....he was very happy, but my mum was again...don know what happen....but she asked me to ask ney to come out, so i do so lor....then my brother paid me, my mum also paid me, said that she will pay the half for him, so i no need to fork up a single cent. and then she so good give me $500 bucks and said its for my bkk trip next month.... ok...of course lah...feeling happen mah...then after that i and ney left the house to go and buy another hp again....
then the worst day came....sunday......i hate this day---- 27.11.05...... my mum's condition is getting worse and worse, depression state is out of control.....my granny came in the morning and suddenly my mum broke down and shouted at her...... and threatened to jump down....whats going on man.....i got no idea...my dad too....then my aunt called.....and i told her what happened....she came shortly later...and sat on my mum's bed, its out of control again, my mum was throwing a temper and shouting here and there....then i asked my aunt to leave the room...... so we went to the kitchen and discuss....suddenly my mum came out from the room and went straight to my brother and cried and hugged him and asked him to bring her along to where he want to go......she lost her mind already......then all of us cried....my brother tried to cool her down and sayang her and tell her that he will not leave her....and coax her to sleep again......why....all these things happen to me again......till today.....my mum's conditions don seem better....i also don want to talk to her.....no point, becos the one she want is my brother not me...... i just another loner in the world...nobody cares ......i also don cares....now....even TPL also don care abt me.....what's is there to care..................
counting down to BKK trip - 24 days.........
it's me PEGGY again at [9:10 AM]
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Yday was such a boring day.....wake up at abt 11 plus then after that bathe nike that smelly boy....he was so smelly.....every body in the family is complaining abt him....nothing much happens yday, went to TM with ney to pay the starhub bills lor....you know what....his bills is abt $458.00...... that's expensive becos he always on the phone with me mah....he...he...
then we went home lor to fetch his nephew to Johnathan there to cut hair, then went back to watch tv lor then eat the wanton mee at home lor - self cooked wanton mee ok..... then after that went heartland mall see see look look then eat dinner quite late. who knows after dinner, my stomach pain again, then suddenly feel giddy and then gan ni na, want to faint while on the way back home. who knows shortly, lao sai.....then after that go orh....orh....liao.....he...he...
today, ney also rush from Tuas to meet me for lunch lor....we went to the hawker, so sickening....you know what, my hair was so smelly, lucky, i went back office put the estee lauder body lotion to cover the smell, or else, i smell like a dead fish man!!! yucks.....so disgusting..... count down to BKK trip: 39 days left. PS: the fucking tours agency really so unprofessional....until now haven give me a confirmation on the hotel...been calling them so many times ...... next time don use them liao - the one called FXXX stars lor......
it's me PEGGY again at [6:00 AM]
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Hee...hee.. for those who been here and never seen me before, this is how i look like lor.....LOL....
today was a bad day....woke up early in the morning and lao sai....haiya....don know whats wrong with my stomach these few days..... i came back late yday cos went to airport eat swensen with ney and vernie lor........ you know what, i put on weight again.....must go on diet liao.....
i was having abad headache this morning, don even dare to drink coffee.....so jialat..... somemore the weather was so hot.......after i came back from market with my mum at 12 pm, i immediately went to sleep cos my head too pain, ney called me at abt 1pm and told me that he will be coming to fetch me, then i force myself lor, and then by that time, my face was as white as sheet and so pale......my head is killing me....then went to his house and continue sleep lor, cos really too pain......at abt 6 plus, we went out to help his mum to buy microwave then rush down to CK tang....orchard road was damn jam....i wanted to buy a dress for jolyn's wedding, but too bad, very expensive, all of them cost abt $130 above....its not i cant afford but i just don want to buy. in the end, i went to buy perfume - Pleasure lor.....haha...at least got buy something. after that we went to chill bar.....but it was boring there, so we decide to go CV eat satay......we met ah boon, meng song, xiaolong, ah kok & ah pong there lor.....we sat the table next to them, so pai seh.....don know what to say to them.....worst still, no satay liao, FXXK.....in the end, eat chicken wing and drink teh o and then go home liao lor.....its was so boring......but no choice, this is life, no matter wat, still have to carry on walking......haiya......count down to bangkok trip left.......40 days.........
BTW....TPL, still missing you in my heart......
it's me PEGGY again at [5:40 PM]
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
yday was a boring day.....i reached home @ 6.30pm and before 7pm, i already had my dinner, had my shower. My brother was there doing push-ups...... I feel so empty.....for no reason? i am not sure. I was missing someone that i had never seen for weeks, maybe! In order not to worsen my depression state, i went to sleep before 9pm. before that, i cried for wat reasons i don know!!! i really don know what state am i now..... its so funny..... i don even know what i was doing. Suppose to have enough sleep, but its not.....i woke up so many times in the middle of the nite, becos my heart was empty..... becos i feel so sick.....becos of so many things that i cant describe.....its was terrible....who knows...........what would you do if you see me like this, pity me, or laugh at me.....will you feel the pain just like what i am feeling now? will you?
it's me PEGGY again at [4:45 AM]
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
look @ this cat, so cute. since young, i always like cats more than dogs. To me, they are just part of me. I always think i am a cat more than a human being. this was sent to me by adam. Don even know how he got this pix. Depresssion periods starting again. no idea when it is going to end. don even know what am i doing again. I used to hate shopping, but for the past 4 weeks, i been to almost all the shopping ctrs and hours of walking had been made me thin and my tummy is almost flat. Its so amazing. Of course, i not using this to lose weight, i just don feel like going home, so i rather hang around at the shopping ctr. Been to 10 over of giordano, bossini, hangten outlets......i already know what they are selling now........the prices already in heart too.........another 46 days to go.......so that i can walk around BKK city to shop again......now i am training my legs...... i am going to explore the whole of MBK.....
life has never been fair to anyone including me..... if you have $$$ you are great, if you have none, you don feel great!!! yday i call xxxx, don even know why i make the call..... for wat, to listen to his fustrations or wat, i also don know. its so sickening, if he can control, why i cant.......... just forget it........why make such a move or create trouble......maybe too long never pick a fight, feel like finding someone to complain or quarrel? but why in the first place, must choose him? get used to it men?? anyway, its all over, why bother to talk abt that thing again and again...... life is always so cruel and miserable........ you can only choose one not two or three. Its either you make the right choice or wrong choice. its up to you, but don regret on what you choose, the path has already been chosen and the journey has started.....no u-turning...........no more...............
it's me PEGGY again at [5:00 AM]
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
1st day of november, is a public holiday. So tired after the war in the office, and yet i was so sick. Feel like taking MC, but i cant, cos my superior on leave and nobody take over my job. Poor thing!!!! really very sick, but bo bian have to dong dong finish my work. Later should be going to Orchard to buy wallet. Still havent decide to buy LV or gucci, really headache. see how lor......anyway still the same word from me again......i am suffering from depression......and living in misery.......pls don come near me..............
it's me PEGGY again at [2:15 AM]
