Friday, December 02, 2005
bad dreams
haiz.....i was sick yday....very sick...and i slept quite early yday abt 915pm....my mum still jio my uncle they all eat supper. i said i tired and continue to sleep becos i was SICK.......without taking any medicine.....ppl who knows me will know that i will not take medicine...for wat?
don really sleep well leh....these few nites had been tossing around, don know whats going on...... sleep until my pooh bear was on the floor this morning....
anyway...i had a bad dreams, scary dreams...i don want to talk, but when i woke up this morning, i cried....i cried three times this morning....i had been a clown....last time, now and in the future, i will still be a clown....don ask me what does that means....i don want to talk...only ney knows what's the meaning of being a clown....i had always been a clown bet the two person...always.....i had been a royal friend, always protective over my friends.....but what i get? retribution hah....i don know....really don know.....sometimes, i can feel what i have, sometimes i dont....why....can someone tells me why.....the things is so fragile, i wanted to hold but i scare that it will shatter once i lay my hand on it........i scare of having and then losing.......
i cried at my bus stop while waiting for bus....i was so scared....everything seems so unusual....seems unnatural....why........
third time, i cried on bus 89.......why, becos i saw him.........my heart was pounding fast but i know we can only be stranger..... i was hurt, i felt the knife being stabbed into my heart...very painful....too painful until, my tears just rolled down from my eyes...its uncontrollable....at least i know one thing, i had not forget him..... its too painful.........
it's me PEGGY again at [9:49 AM]
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